Guest Family Christmas Letter

This is the Christmas letter Bill wrote for our Christmas Cards (I know some people hate these, but they are the only communication we have with some of our long lost friends.)


December 2008 The Guest Gazette Issue #29
Christmas Greetings to all our dear friends and family,
We hope all is well with each and every one of you. We are well and enjoying our 13th year in Oregon. As we began to gather information for our annual Christmas letter, our son Jake told us that he thought listing only our annual successes & accomplishments was not entirely honest and that we should also include this year everybody's failures and shortcomings. So, each family member was asked to list theirs and you will find them (mostly unedited) in the second half of our newsletter this year.

Son Bill (26), his wife Bekah, and daughters Jessica (2 ½) and Bradlei (1) reside in Provo, Utah where Bill plans to graduate in April 2009 from Brigham Young University, with a degree in Statistics and Actuarial Science. He is currently serving as Elders Quorum President, after serving as a counselor in the bishopric of a college singles congregation. He has been a part-time student while working full time as a supervisor in the floor/carpeting maintenance staff. Bekah keeps busy as a mom and homemaker.

Daughter Jenny (24) lives just outside Portland and is a stay-at-home mom while running her internet based business from home. Her husband Tyler works as an accountant & had the highest CPA exam score in Oregon in 2007. Grandpa Bill gets to visit monthly on business trips where he gets to see grandson Xander (16 mos.) and play with him as much as possible.

Josh (22) is a junior at Brigham Young University where he has been accepted into the Broadcast Journalism program within the Communications Department. He remains determined to become the next Matt Lauer. He worked this summer as a clerk at a law firm.

Andy (20) is halfway through his two years of missionary service in Asuncion, Paraguay North. He has eaten snake, been drenched in rain storms and walked many a dirt road. He is currently serving as the mission Finance Secretary, responsible for a variety of issues (i.e. rent, food money, etc.) for some 140 missionaries.

Jake (16) got his license in June. He earned varsity letters in football and swimming and a JV letter in baseball. He faithfully attends his early morning seminary class.

Katie (13) became a teenager. She enjoys music, listening to Josh Groban, playing piano, bass clarinet, and baritone sax. She was selected as a member of the state honor band. She played soccer this year with no wins in the Spring season and no losses in the Fall season. She read (and then re-read twice again) all four volumes of Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight Series this month.

Bill is doing fine (except for the realization that his hope of retiring by age 60 has disappeared along with about 40% of the value of his 401K savings). His work and church responsibilities keep him busy. He is in his 13th year as President/CEO of his managed care company and beginning his 4th year as a counselor in the stake (diocese) presidency.

Sue is serving as the ward (congregation) Relief Society President. She still substitute teaches on a regular basis. She has just started a web log or “blog” .

Sue, Bill, Jake and Katie enjoyed a Spring Break trip to New York City for a week, as well as a couple of days in Washington DC. In July, we enjoyed a couple of weeks in Park City, Utah for Sue's family reunion. In August we had our first "Guest Family Reunion" in Lake Tahoe. Thanksgiving was spent in Sacramento and Stockton with Bill's mom and sister's family. Bill’s mom is with us for the holidays.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from The Guests.

2008 Failures and Shortcomings in our own words (well, except for Tyler and Xander)...
Josh : a) Lost his job at Subway, then lost his job as a security guard, then lost his job as a newspaper production assistant, then as an insurance telemarketer, then lost his job as a law clerk, and will likely lose his current job as a peer advisor in the Pre-Law office. (editor's note....he wasn't fired from any of the jobs) b) Went to New York, was gypped into buying fake cologne...twice. c) Can't act, film, or write, so he entered into the broadcast journalism major. d) He and the campus cops know each other on a first name basis.

Andy: a) Recently failed to get rent payments out to all 70 missionary apartments/houses in the mission for a week. b) I failed at GETTING down the huge piece of fat that was fed to me at a house c) I failed at KEEPING down my first natural Paraguayan mango. d) Failed to get 5 boxes full of medicines to a bunch of natives in the small community of Chaco f) failed at having my clothes really clean since January 2008.

Jake: a) At last February's district swim meet, Jake beat two swimmers: one was disqualified, the other didnt show up b) flouts society’s conventions c) has a practicing piano average of 1.25 times a week d) Is constantly being lured by street vendors and gypsies and falls victim to their mazes of circular logic e) inherited and used poor cologne products e) Discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.

Katie: a) Isn't good at playing XBOX 360 video games b) Can't yet write a novel c) Can't make Tiramisu.

Jenny: a) Sings in the shower b) Sometimes spends too much time volunteering. c) Her hilarity often causes stomach cramps as a result of a profusion of laughter. d) Wears contacts e) Once went over her allotted cell phone minutes. f) Oh yeah, and she's coarse, uncouth and boorish.

Tyler: a) abusive b) racist c) hypocritical d) bulimic e) lewd f) childish (not in a good way) g) Dyslexic h) Believes in hope and change i) pathological liar.

Xander Grandson 16 mos : a) Can't get himself dressed b) Doesn't change his own diapers. c) Rarely cooks his own meals. d) Not very good at driving. e) Leaves streaks when he cleans the windows. f) His drawings have zero semblance of anything that could be considered a person, place or thing. f) Can't do the Macarena.

Billy and Bekah " Our family is quite perfect. Our voices are never raised and we never argue, bicker or tease. Jessica never takes her peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sticks it to Bradlei's back. Bradlei would never retaliate by biting Jessica as hard as she can. Bill and I always agree on everything and our voices are never raised. The house is always spotless, the girls are always bathed and the television is never used so that Mom and Dad might have a break."

Sue confesses “Hello, my name is Sue (little voices in my head "Hello Sue") and I'm a pack rat. Because of this affliction my house has much more clutter than my family and I are comfortable with, and still I am unable to alleviate the problem. To make matters worse, I am also an enabler. I enable everyone else in the family to use my home as a big storage unit, whether they still live here or not, and I enable the other pack rats in the family (poor Bill, his affliction is apparently genetic, mine seems to be a learned behavior) by allowing them to continue to add to their collections unimpeded. HELP ME!! I am also incapable of getting our Christmas cards out in a timely manner.....Happy New Year!

Bill: a) Doesn’t exercise daily (or even weekly or monthly) b) doesn’t change his share of grandkids diapers c) still leaves the seat up d) watches too much TV e) Doesn’t tell his wife he loves her enough (although he thinks about it) f) doesn’t weed enough g) buys DVDs that he doesn’t have time to watch h) still hates cats.